in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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