I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
