well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
