So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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