Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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