they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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