i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
