i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
