**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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