what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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