the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How external is "for external use only"?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.