Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"