upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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