two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..