Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So much rum. So many feels.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
