Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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