Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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