My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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