I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
