It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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