So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
