Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
