The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
