So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize