nut hugger
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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