yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
