How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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