Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
