Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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