its not stalking. its research.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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