My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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