I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
