Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
