I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
