What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
