she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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