I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
