With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
