He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
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there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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