if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
