wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
