dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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