i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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