The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
