Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
