Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is Oprah even human
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
