Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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