I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
