Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We need to rekindle our bromance
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
