The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This baby is an asshole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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