Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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