that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
