she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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