I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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