At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize