i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sext me about skeletons
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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