I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
