Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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