I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
