STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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