Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
