all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
