I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
