just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
