One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
pray to the hookup gods
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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