My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
