brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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