Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
