8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's rum buckets o'clock
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
