mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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